Sometimes you need to open a window.
It's amazing how stuffy it can get in my little world. I breath my own recycled air as I panic about silly things, worry about plans that don't happen, rethink things I should have said or done. Everyone needs some fresh air every now and then, and for me it was Saturday morning.
Colton, while a good sleeper these days, has been confused lately. Not sure where he got the idea that waking up bright-eyed and ready to play at 5:00am was a good idea (probably from his dad). Saturday morning, I embraced it, got up with my boy and had that cup of coffee even though I knew he'd go down for a nap by 6:30. I decided to use that time to do something I never have time for: reading. I was given a small book by a mother I respect right after I had Colton. Really wasn't sure when I was ever gonna read anything other than a text message these days, but it could not have come at any better time. Within minutes I was laughing and crying and choking on my coffee. What a refreshing feeling! In the first chapter, this mother of five children under five talks about "opening a window." She was right, I needed some fresh air and fresh perspective.
As soon as I let this air in, I realized how stuffy it had been. You never know when you're in the stuffy room until you leave it. Chris and I realized the other night, we had really been just letting life happen to us. And for a short time, after a baby is born, this is totally acceptable. But after a while, it's reasonable to live a little bit more on purpose again. What started out as pillow talk, ended up being a much longer discussion on our marriage, our habits, our future and where we were headed. We needed some new direction, and needed to establish our vision as a family again. It had been a while.
After a long drive and picnic lunch the next day, we connected and got on the same page. We tend to have these planning sessions every few years. We asked questions like "where do we want to live in x amount of years?" "what will my exercise routine look like?" "where will we have taken vacation?" "who will we spend time with the most?" "how much sleep will I get?" "what will we have saved for?" "how will we rest together?" "what will our family look like?"
We are still working through this routine, and it is different answering these questions this time, not just as a couple, but as a family of three now. But I have to say, since I "opened that window" on Saturday, I'm feeling refreshed, motivated and on point- even for a tired mother of a 5 month old.
God, give us the grace to live out these goals while keeping You as our center. Help me be the wife, mother, friend, writer, and observer I hope to become.