Appreciating My Mother

We're at that just barely comfortable stage.  Colton is approaching three months old and he is letting us "think" we have him figured out.  Of course, everyone tells us that's when habits change, growth spurts occur etc.  Either way, we're enjoying him.  More smiles, more noises, less irritability- he really is such a good baby.  My mother said those exact words two days in.  My thought was "riiight Nana, how in the world can you tell?"  But sure enough, he really is a great baby.  Mom- you were right again.

While I'm on it, she has been right about a lot lately... she sold us on the perfect timing for a pacifier, convinced me to try out a new floor cleaner that has been wonderful and even gave Chris some vital lawn care advice the other day- new home owner stuff.  We're learning EVERY DANG DAY.

But these past three months, actually past
twelve months have given me an appreciation for my mother that I never knew.  When I look at Colton and think about how deeply and naturally I would do anything for him, it's so odd to think that my mom felt that way for me.  She painfully endured labor, the beginnings of breastfeeding, and all the anxiety that goes with having your first child.  She stared at my humble beginnings just like I stare at Colton's little ears and growing (few) hairs and feel love.  I've been so focused on the love leaving me, that I had kinda forgotten about the love I have received- and continue to receive.

And to think what it will be like to love and care for Colton still so deeply as he grows up.  I really can't fathom how that is going to change me as a person.  I'm already so transformed by all this!  There's more?!

Mom, Lorrie Bridges, I have a new appreciation for you.  I know these moments always come a little later than you hoped (i.e. not when you were disciplining me for being a deceitful little six-year-old girl who blamed everything on her innocent sister).  But thank you.  For the blood, sweat and tears.  Thank you.

About a month ago Colton starting looking up and smiling at me after he was done eating.  Like a "thanks mom."  The gratitude already melts me.  I just want to keep giving to him, even if the gratitude disguises itself for a while in the years to come, I'm writing this to remember.  And then to keep giving- because he might be a parent some day, with a blog, and a kid.