Sunday, January 5, 2014

My Ministry Is Sleeping

Tried to time it right.  Skipped my shower, teased my hair instead.  Husband brought out all the stops.  But after taking my exhausted son into my arms just 15 minutes before we should be leaving for church, he looked up at me with the most tired eyes and we both understood each other.  This day, this nap, this time, sleep was more important to his little body.  And it was momma's job to notice that.

I love the Church.  People from all different kinds of backgrounds and upbringings coming together to worship God.  Gatherings on Sundays were and are very important to my husband and I.  But something not talked about until you are in it, is the sacrifice Sundays become when you have little ones.

I'm seeing each week into this motherhood adventure that every day is different and each Sunday is a new decision.  So I haven't written off church.  But my expectations are low, and if we get there for half a sermon Praise Be To God!  And if my son needs a three hour nap that morning, Praise Be To God.  My ministry has been refocused for a little bit, (or just concentrated for a while) on my son.  My family is my first ministry right now.

My call to know intuitively what he needs in that moment is one I take seriously.  Last week that was a good ol' college try in the nursery and we made it through a whole service.  Today his growing body needs me not to push him.  Before having kids we loved having people over several nights a week, sharing life with other couples, spontaneous dinner parties... and now my ministry is to quiet the house down after a difficult day, turn off the noisy toys or just GET ON THE FLOOR that I haven't swept and play with the legos.

It takes discipline to find satisfaction in this "ministry" on some days, if I'm being honest.  But when I do find it, God reminds my soul that this indeed is EXACTLY what He is calling me to do.


  1. So true. I've been struggling so hard with the fact that we can't go to church a lot of times--I honestly don't think we've been for a good month, because of all that has been going on and going out of town--didn't even go at Christmastime. It seems so "wrong" or like we aren't being "good Christians." We start to miss the community we had when things were really good at church. And miss hearing the Word NOT using an electronic device. And it feels like drowning sometimes, honestly. But God is not ONLY at church, ONLY on Sundays, and I have had to learn that, and learn to be home and sing songs about Jesus with Benjamin and teach him God's love in my actions--it's a tall order when I don't feel "poured into" myself. But it means I have to run for God harder than I've ever run, and seek Him harder than I've ever sought. These years of "barely any church" are short, and someday, I hope to look back and be glad that I showed Jesus to my son even at home, rather than with bitterness that I "didn't get what I needed that Sunday because baby was fussy/sick/tired/clingy."

    1. great response T. let's run after Him hard. it will be over before we know it.